He proposed! Now it’s your turn to pop the question: Will you be my Bridesmaid? The girls you ask to stand by your side on your wedding day will ultimately be one of the most important decisions you make during your wedding planning process. Why? Because having a bad bridesmaid can destroy friendships and ruin weddings, and a good bridesmaid can help make your big day run smoothly and even take away stress.
Weddings are already emotional events, and bridesmaids can often-times add drama to an already high strung bride or bridal party. Although this may be fun to watch in movies (Come on, who doesn’t love Bridesmaids?!), it is not something you want to experience for yourself. This is why it is so important to know how to choose a good bridesmaid. In addition to emotional support, the bride often has to rely on the bridesmaids to help plan and prepare for the wedding. Here are 3 tips to help YOU select and handle your bridesmaids:
TIP #1: Choose bridesmaids who you know will go the extra mile in helping you with your wedding.
If you have complete freedom to choose whom to be your bridesmaids, then congratulations! You’re probably going to save yourself a lot of headache down the line, especially after reading this easy guide! Here are some of the traits you will want to look for before asking someone to be a bridesmaid:
-A Good Communicator
-A Team Player
-Knows Your Social Circle
It is always a good idea to include siblings and your best friends to play a part in your wedding day, even if they aren’t in your bridal party already. Assign some tasks to them so that they feel important and are contributing to the planning process. If you have a great friend who is great at decorating and planning events, but can be flaky on a day-to-day basis, maybe she isn’t right for your bridal party. She can, however, be in charge of decorations for the bridal shower. Giving someone a task who is close to you (but not quite Bridesmaid ready) makes them feel involved in the process. This way, everyone feels included and special, and you don’t have to worry about any drama! Win-Win. This falls right into Tip #2…
TIP #2: If you know your (best) friend is unreliable, try to wiggle your way out of asking her to be a bridesmaid.
If you can’t, or won’t, then you’ll have to make do with what you have. Be up front with her. Let her know what the responsibilities are for being a part of the bridal party and how you’ll need her support. It is not only about the title, the speech, and looking good in the wedding photos. Have her sign up for the tasks that she thinks she can handle but nothing more. Some people will feel overwhelmed with the tasks and end up stepping down at the last minute, which is exactly what you want to avoid. If you tell her what her responsibilities are going to be upfront, then she can really understand how much work is required of her and she can decide whether or not she’s up to it. This is a perfect time to suggest another role for her, as well. “I know you’re really busy with school/being a new mom/your new job, but I would REALLY love for you to be in charge of decorating for my bridal shower! You have the best taste, and I just know you’ll make it perfect!” Again, if you simply cannot leave out someone who you are concerned about, it’s also good to create an agenda and have her follow it. Reconvene every so often to ensure things are getting done in a timely manner.
TIP #3: Ask for Help from other Bridesmaids.
Who said you should only have one? You can have as many bridesmaids and/or maid of honors as you want. If you have a bridesmaid you cannot rely on to get things done, ask more reliable friends to be your additional bridesmaids. This way, you can keep everyone happy and have them share the important tasks so they will not be too overwhelmed with a ton of responsibilities. Make sure you communicate with all of them of their duties and thank them in your speech at the wedding.
Even though it is your big day, it is important as a bride to be understanding and accommodating to your bridesmaids. Your girls are spending money to pay for the attire and buying you wedding gifts as well as providing you support along the way. Instead of writing emails, pick up the phone to call them when you’re trying to say something sensitive. It is very easy to misunderstand the tone of an email and can permanently damage a friendship in some circumstances.
Hiring a wedding planner to take on most of the planning tasks away from you and your bridal party is also a way to solve this problem. A wedding planner can provide you with professional advice as well as handle all the stress that you and your bridal party don’t want to deal with. All your girls will have to do is relax and look pretty on your wedding day!